mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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