dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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