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WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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