she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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