i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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