I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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