you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pants 0. Shit 1.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
