All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
