when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
