i would punch a child for taco bell
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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