Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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