I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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