Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
