i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Terrible idea I love it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
