the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
