erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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