its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
