you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
