Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
