we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
As shirtless as possible
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
