I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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