I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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