Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
