what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
