So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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