You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
