in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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