like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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