i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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