yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Little spoons don't ask big questions
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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