Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
