I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
