...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
