The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
