i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
then he tried to convert me to islam
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
