Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
