I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
