also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
