Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
