He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
