we're chasing vodka with high fives
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
