Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
