I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
