I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
