I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
