haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Bring me that man meat
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
