So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
