I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if only i could text you this smell
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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