You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
