nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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